so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
