I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
