Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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