Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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