what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
