Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
