Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
