Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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