1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
