Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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