So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
