You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
