My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
