Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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