I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
