I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
