Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
