Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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