He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
