Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
