butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
