they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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