Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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