love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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