so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
