i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
