i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
