i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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