Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
