Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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