oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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