Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize