My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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