She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
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