just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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