what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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