I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
