I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
