I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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