i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
