He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
