My hand turned me down
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
