this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
