Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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