It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
