Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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