Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
