It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
