She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
