im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
