Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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